My Vegas Act Is How I Make

My Parents Always Told Me I Could Do Anything, But Never Told Me How Long It Would Take

I'm A Very Simple Person. I'm Very Shallow. Shallow, Simple, Easily Pleased: That's Me.

I Started Taking Ballet Lessons When I Was 4, And I Was Performing In Ballet Companies When I Was 10, And I Did Summer Stock In Miami Beach When I Was 12, And Finally I Said, 'i Gotta Go To Broadway.'

I Get So Happy When I Write A Joke. It's A Very Satisfying, Liberating Feeling.

I Have Been Doing Leg Lifts Faithfully For About Fifteen Years, And The Only Thing That Has Gotten Thinner Is The Carpet Where I Have Been Doing The Leg Lifts.