Going Out To Eat Is Expensive. I

Most Turkeys Taste Better The Day After; My Mother's Tasted Better The Day Before.

I Was Going To Have Cosmetic Surgery Until I Noticed That The Doctor's Office Was Full Of Portraits By Picasso.

I Had The Most Boring Office Job In The World...i Used To Clean The Windows On Envelopes.

Men Are Self-confident Because They Grow Up Identifying With Super-heroes. Women Have Bad Self-images Because They Grow Up Identifying With Barbie.

If You Buy Your Husband Or Boyfriend A Video Camera, For The First Few Weeks He Has It, Lock The Door When You Go To The Bathroom. Most Of My Husband's Early Films End With A Scream And A Flush.