My Sister Sometimes Does A Todd Barry

I Like Pens. My Writing Is So Amazing There's Never A Need To Erase

Only Lately, Like Within The Last Few Years, Have I Had People Actually Do An Impression Of Me To Me, Which Weirds Me Out To Think Of What They Have Picked Up On, Without Ever Realizing It Myself

There Are Certain Things That Are Probably Too Mean. I Don't Particularly Like Fat Jokes. Those Kind Of Bother Me. But I Guess What I Was Trying To Say Is, If I Said I Would Never Laugh At This, You Could Probably Dig Around And Find A Situation Where I Did Laugh. I Try Not To Be A Hypocrite With That One. I Find When There's A Controversy About Someone Saying Something Offensive, I Usually Take The Angle Of, "well, I Don't Know If That Was Offensive; It Just Wasn't Funny." I Generally Don't Gasp, "oh My God!" I Think People Have Been Getting Raked Over The Coals Lately.

I Don't Know Any Astronauts. There Are A Lot Of People Who Say They Want To Be Comedians.

I Am The The Type To Have A Personal Experience With A Celebrity, But I'm Too Classy To Bring That Up.