My Name Has Zero Value.

Stand-up Is Live, So I'm Used To Being Live For Most Of My Career. It's Interesting.

You Can’t Make Everybody Laugh. You Gotta Just Do What You Think Is Funny. Just Be Obstreperous To Everybody.

For The Most Part, Comedians Are Pretty Friendly With Each Other. They Always Say They Badmouth Each Other, But Most Of The Time, They're Friends. We're The Only Ones That Can Really Stand Our Type Of Humor.

So Instead Of Talking About Theoretical Ways Of Ending The War And Violence, I Say That We Have To Get Rid Of The Individual Asholes In Each Office And Situation.

Humanity Is A Crazy Contradiction. I Accept Us For Who We Are. We're Not That Great. Every Time We Take A Step Forward We Go Back To The Same Primitive Behavior. We're Meant To Be This Way. It's Not Our Fault, It's Just Who We Are.