My Mother Always Called Me 'sturdy' And

I Know A Lot Of You Believe That Most People In The News Business Are Liberal. Let Me Tell You, I Know A Lot Of Them, And They Were Almost Evenly Divided This Time. Half Of Them Liked Senator Kerry; The Other Half Hated President Bush.

When There Are Starving People In The World, It Seems Wrong That So Many Of Us Americans Eat As Much For Entertainment As For Nourishment.

Computers May Save Time But They Sure Waste A Lot Of Paper. About 98 Percent Of Everything Printed Out By A Computer Is Garbage That No One Ever Reads.

Yes, We Praise Women Over 40 For A Multitude Of Reasons. Unfortunately, It's Not Reciprocal. For Every Stunning, Smart, Well-coiffed, Hot Woman Over 40, There Is A Bald, Paunchy Relic In Yellow Pants Making A Fool Of Himself With Some 22-year Old Waitress. Ladies, I Apologize. For All Those Men Who Say, "why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free?", Here's An Update For You. Nowadays 80% Of Women Are Against Marriage. Why? Because Women Realize It's Not Worth Buying An Entire Pig Just To Get A Little Sausage!

Love Is More Pleasant Once You Get Out Of Your Twenties. It Doesn't Hurt All The Time.