My Mom Said The Only Reason Men

Jill, We Became Parents So We Could Tell Our Kids What To Do. Otherwise We're Just The Tallest People Living Here.

I've Always Felt, And I Don't Like To Say This Because I Sound Like An Ex-patriot, I Always Feel Quite A Bit More Comfortable Sometimes In Canada. For A Variety Of Reasons. I Just Think It's A Politer Place. Kind Of. You Don't Have Quite The Population To Deal With But You Don't Immediately Get Into Skirmishes With Everybody. If You Had Any Passport, Any Terrorist Would Let The Canadians Off The Plane.

Be Wary Of Listening To Stories Secondhand.

Now The Denominator ... Why Don't They Just Call It The Bottom Number? The Denominator ... That Sounds Like A Schwarzenegger Movie Doesn't It? [impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger] I Am The Denominator. I'll Give Your Leg A Compound Fraction!

I Like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, Screw The Middle Man. Just A Tube Of Sugar... I'd Pour Two Of Those In A Big 12 Ounce Coke. And I'd Go Out To Catechism Class And Try To Concentrate On The Priest. I Saw Jesus Several Times. I Swear I Did.