My Girlfriend Told Me That She Was

My Grandmother's Brain Was Dead, But Her Heart Was Still Beating. It Was The First Time We Ever Had A Democrat In The Family.

I Asked God For A Bike, But I Know God Doesn't Work That Way. So I Stole A Bike And Asked For Forgiveness.

My Parents Had Very Strict Rules For Me. Rules Like, I Couldn't Be Home Until A Certain Hour.

I've Been Wrestling With Reality For Most Of My Life. I'm Pleased To Say I've Won.

I Was Walking Down The Street. Something Caught My Eye, And Dragged It Fifteen Feet.