My Family Was Fine, It's Just A

If I Have To Move Up In A Building, I Choose The Elevator Over The Escalator. Because One Time I Was Riding The Escalator And I Tripped. I Fell Down The Stairs For An Hour And A Half.

People And Squirrels Are Very Different. Most People Will Not Argue That. But I Find That There Is One Situation In Which They're Very Similar. And That Is: When I Am Driving Towards Them In My Car. Then They're Kind Of Hard To Tell Apart - Especially If The Human Is Kind Of Hairy.

If You Are Trying To Impress A Woman, Leave Any Sort Of Show Farting Out Of The Equation.

If You Are Wearing A Bandana You Better Have Something Wise To Say, Because You Are Starting With A Credibility Deficit.

Yes" Actually Means "no" 100% Of The Time, When The Question Is "can I Give You Some Advice?