My Dream Job Is To Be A

I Have A Fat Head - I Get Freaked-out Looking At Pictures Of Me.

I Really Believe There's No Such Thing As Accidents, Only Opportunities. God Gives Everyone The Ingredients To A Good, Happy Life. It's Up To Us To Make The Most Of Them.

I Don't Have To Write Jokes. I Don't Have To Write Insults. If You Ask The Man Of The Hour In The Hot Seat, My Mere Existence Is Clearly Insult Enough.

Make Big Pots Of Soups, Stews And Chilis - They Stretch A Buck, And You Can Live Off Them For Days!

I'm Completely Unqualified For Any Job I've Ever Had.