Most Stick People Are Black.

I Think They Named The Orange Before The Carrot.

Coffee Is Like A Bra. 3 Cups Is One Too Many.

A Straw Enables You To Drink Without Using Your Wrist. A Straw Is Your Friend - Until You Lose Eye Contact With The Straw. Then It Will Betray You And Make You Look Like An Idiot.

I Am A Man Of My Word… And That Word Is “unreliable.

If You Remove A Treehouse From A Tree, Than It's Just A Shitty House. Sometimes When I'm In A Shitty House, I Like To Imagine That It's In A Tree, Than It's Like Woah, This House Is Amazing.