Moral: Don't Try To Account For Anything.

A Good Jolly Is Worth What You Pay For It.

Life Is A Series Of Relapses And Recoveries.

The Wealthy Have Nothing Left Except Money.

If You Have To Be Burned At The Stake, Be A Good Fellow And Collect Your Own Fire-wood.

I Got The Breaks. Starting From Nowhere In The Corn Belt, I Helped Edit A Country Weekly, Then Was Jack-of-all-departments On An Obscure Daily, So That When I Arrived In A Big City Everything I Tackled In The Line Of Column Conducting And Syndicate Peddling And Playwriting Had To Bring Promotion, Because I Had No Social Standing Which Could Be Endangered, No Reputation To Toss Away And No Pride Which Might Suffer A Setback. Everything I Acquired Had To Be Velvet. You Cannot Lose Your Silver Spoon If You Are Brought Up On Pewter.