Money Can't Buy You Happiness But It

With Age Comes Wisdom. You Don't Need Big Boobs To Be Feminine. Look At Liberace.

Forty For You, Sixty For Me. And Equal Partners We Will Be.

I Have Flabby Thighs, But Fortunately My Stomach Covers Them.

I Think We All In Comedi Business, Especially When We Reach A Certain Age, Are Divas Up To A Point. I Love When A Limousine Comes For Me, I Can't Lie About That. I Love When You Go To A Restaurant And They Say, "come This Way, Miss Rivers," And You Get A Good Table. I Love All That, The Perks That Come With The Business.

Both Of My Parents Got To See Me Host Carson, Thank God. That's All Anyone Wants: To Have Their Parents See They're Going To Be All Right In Life.