Men Lie The Most, Women Tell The

The Thing About Having An Audience Right There Laughing Is That Critics Can Write What They Want, But The Proof Is Right There In Front Of You.

The Government Hates Rap. That's Why They Don't Arrest Anybody That Kills Rappers! Only The Good Ones Are Dead, Man! Only The Good Ones: Biggie Dead, Tupac Dead, Vanilla Ice Still Alive! They Don't Fill Out A Police Report. They Don't Even Have A Chalk Line When It's A Dead Rapper, They Just Take A Piss Around The Body.

I Can't Cook, But I Have A Nice Book Of Menus... And I Can Plate And Set The Table.

Comedians Tend To Find A Comfort Zone And Stay There And Do Lamer Versions Of Themselves For The Rest Of Their Career.

Every Town Has The Same Two Malls: The One White People Go To And The One White People Used To Go To.