Men Lie The Most, Women Tell The

I've Been Away From My Two Daughters At A Very Important Time In Their Life.'i Have Missed Most Of Girl Scout Cookie Season.last Night Zahra, My Youngest Called Me Up And Said :"daddy How Come We Never Sell The Most Cookies? How Come Mrs. Dunn Wins Every Year?"'

Standup Comedians Are Attracted To One Another Because Of Their Faults. So We're All Kind Of Messed Up In The Same Way, And Once I Was Around A Group Of People That Saw The World In A Different Way, It's Like This Is Where I Need To Be.

You Know Those Guys That Go To The Strip Club At The Daytime? If You're At A Strip Club, And The Sun Is Out, You Got Some Problems!

I Don't Need A President With A Bucket List!

Men Are Handicapped When It Comes To Arguing, 'cause We Have A Need To Make Sense.