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I Love Being Married. It's So Great To Find That One Special Person You Want To Annoy For The Rest Of Your Life.

All Men Are Afraid Of Eyelash Curlers. They Don't Understand Them, And They Don't Want To Get Near Them. I Sleep With One Under My Pillow, Instead Of A Gun.

My Vegas Act Is How I Make My Money.

All Men Look At Dr. Ruth And Wonder How She Has Gained All That Sexual Experience.

Her Idea Of A Romantic Setting Is One That Has A Diamond In It. If You Feel The Need To Marry A Doctor, I Suggest A Dermatologist. Good Hours, Free Retin-a.