Men Don't Mature. Marry A Younger One.

In Hollywood A Marriage Is A Success If It Outlasts Milk.

Natural Childbirth Scares Me. I Think Before You Have Natural Childbirth You Should Find Out How Big The Baby Is. Three Pounds -- Natural Childbirth. Anything Over Three Pounds -- Heroin.

Men Who Can Eat Anything They Want And Not Gain Weight Should Do It Out Of Sight Of The Women They're Married To.

Men Have An Easier Time Buying Bathing Suits. Women Have Two Types: Depressing And More Depressing. Men Have Two Types: Nerdy And Not Nerdy.

When I Want To End A Relationship I Just Say, 'you Know, I Love You. I Want To Marry You. I Want To Have Your Children.' Sometimes They Leave Skid Marks.