Members Of The Senate And House, If

I've Never Had A Yard Sale, Ever, In My Life. I Don't Know If I Ever Thought About Stuff I Would Get Rid Of.

I Love Watching People Be Totally Committed In A Very Real Way To Stupid Situations. I Find It's Not So Much Trying To Be Funny, It's Trying To Be Real In A Messed Up Context. That's Comedy To Me.

By The Time I Was Ready For College, I Didn't Know What I Wanted To Do. I Think I Secretly Wanted A Show Business Career, But I Was Suppressing It.

I Was Never A Class Clown Or Anything Like That, But I Do Remember Being In The First Grade And My Teacher, Mr. Chad, Told The Class One Day That We Were Going To Do Some Exercises. He Meant Math Exercises, But I Stood Up And Started Doing Jumping Jacks. To This Day, I Don't Know What Possessed Me To Do That, But All My Friends Cracked Up.

I Hate When New Parents Ask Who The Baby Looks Like. It Was Born 15 Minutes Ago, It Looks Like A Potato