Look, I Play All These Tough Guys

I Think I Was Probably Always A Liar; I Just Get Paid For It Now.

I Get Some Of The Nicest Fan Mail You Could Imagine. Also When I'm Up For An Award, My Fans All Vote Online And Then They'll Boast To Each Other About How Many Thousands Of Times They've Clicked My Name. Their Thumbs Must Be Bleeding!

I'm Still Spending My Working Life Trying To Mine People's Souls And Now They're Complimenting Me In Reviews On The Amount Of Time I Spend In The Gym. On The Definition Of My Triceps.

In Fact My Favourite Thing Is The Wig Because I'm A Very Lazy Actor So Every Time I Put It On, In Order To Keep It Straight, They Kept On Telling Me To Tip My Head Back Because Otherwise I Was Eating It All The Time.

God, I Hate Interviews With Actors Pouncing On. Who Wants To Know About Their Lives? I Don't Want To Know About Al Pacino's Life.