Life's No Brief Candle-it's A Splendid Torch!

Women Upset Everything. When You Let Them Into Your Life, You Find That The Woman Is Driving At One Thing And You're Driving At Another.

Money Is The Most Important Thing In The World. It Represents Health, Strength, Honor, Generosity, And Beauty As Conspicuously As The Want Of It Represents Illness, Weakness, Disgrace, Meanness, And Ugliness.

The Whole World Is Strewn With Snares, Traps, Gins And Pitfalls For The Capture Of Men By Women.

I Make A Fortune From Criticizing The Policy Of The Government, And Then Hand It Over To The Government In Taxes To Keep It Going.

I Learned Long Ago, Never To Wrestle With A Pig. You Get Dirty, And Besides, The Pig Likes It.