Life Is Hard. And We Better Laugh

The Psychic Scars Caused By Believing That You Are Ugly Leave A Permanent Mark On Your Personality.

I Finally Found Out How Priests Get Holy Water. They Boil The Hell Out Of It.

If You Don't Go To Broadway, You're A Fool. On Broadway, Off Broadway, Above Broadway, Below Broadway, Go! Don't Tell Me There Isn't Something Wonderful Playing. If I'm Home In New York At Night, I'm Either At A Broadway Or An Off Broadway Show. We're In The Theater Capital Of The World, And If You Don't Get It, You're An Idiot.

I Was Dating A Transvestite, And My Mother Said, "marry Him, You'll Double Your Wardrobe."

My Breasts Are So Low, Now I Can Have A Mammogram And A Pedicure At The Same Time.