Laugh Now, Cry Later.

My Second Favorite Household Chore Is Ironing. My First Being Hitting My Head On The Top Bunk Bed Until I Faint.

What We're Really Talking About Is A Wonderful Day Set Aside On The Fourth Thursday Of November When No One Diets. I Mean, Why Else Would They Call It Thanksgiving?

It Is Upsetting To Many Parents That Their Teen-agers Introduce Them To Their Friends As Encyclopedia Salesmen Who Are Just Passing Through ... If They Introduce Them At All. I Have Some Acquaintances Who Hover In Dark Parking Lots, Enter Church Separately And Crouch In Furnace Rooms So Their Teen-agers Will Not Be Accused Of Having Parents.

Who In Their Infinite Wisdom Decreed That Little League Uniforms Be White? Certainly Not A Mother.

Let Me Put It This Way. According To My Girth, I Should Be A Ninety-foot Redwood.