Last Night I Went Out For Chinese.

If You Don't Want Your Dog To Have Bad Breath, Do What I Do: Pour A Little Lavoris In The Toilet.

A Newsweek Poll Said If The Election Were Held Today, John Kerry Would Beat Bush 49 Percent To 46 Percent. And Today, President Bush Called Newsweek Magazine A Threat To World Peace.

We Should Make Politicians Dress Like Race Car Drivers -- When They Get Money, Make Them Wear The Company Logos On Their Suit.

When Clinton Said He Was Going To Create 8 Million New Jobs, I Didn't Think They Were All Going To Be Tax Collectors.

In An Unlikely Pairing, Hillary Clinton Made An Appearance This Week With Newt Gingrich To Push A Health Care Plan. The Press Is Making A Big Deal Out This Thing With Newt But, Hey, If Anyone Knows How To Appear In Public With A Man She Can't Stand, It's Hillary.