You Know What You Call The Two

Well, It Looks Like John Boehner Will Be The New Speaker Of The House. He Is The Son Of A Bartender, One Of 12 Children. He Grew Up In A Two Room Home With Just One Bathroom, Worked His Way Through School, Became The First Person In His Family To Graduate From College. And, Sadly, Fell In With The Wrong Crowd And Wound Up In Congress.

I Don't Want To Say Gray Davis Is On The Run, But Today He Released An Audiotape On The Al Jazeera Network From His Underground Bunker Somewhere In The Sacramento Area.

Denmark Is Charging A Fat Food Tax On Cheese, Meat, And Oil. Here, We Call That The Denny's Grand Slam Breakfast.

House Speaker John Boehner Says President Obama Should Have Clearly Outlined His Exact Plans Before Bombing Libya. Apparently It's Only Iraq Where You Don't Have To Do That.

Speaker John Boehner Complained That Barack Obama Ordered The U.s. Military Into Combat In Libya Without Clearly Defining The Mission To The American People And Congress. See, Apparently, You're Only Allowed To Do That When Invading Iraq.