Ladies And Gentlemen Of The Jury. It's

Wives Live Longer Than Husbands Because They're Not Married To Women.

I Believe It Was Shakespeare Who Said, 'all The World's A Stage, And You Are Crap!'

Rudolf The Red-nosed Reindeer, Dead At 53. Over Barcelona Today, The Famed Reindeer Was Hit By A Flock Of Seagulls And A 747. Eyewitnesses Report, That The Reindeer In Spain Was Hit Mainly By The Plane.

I Have Many Favorite Artists...van Gough As One, But He Didn't Really Sing A Lot!

There Are So Many Things I'd Like To Change In The Industry. Everything From The Reliance Of Style Over Substance To Their Reluctance To Hire Me For Big Budget Blockbusters, But The Thing I Would Love Most Would Be If They Understood People Don't Have To Be Hollywood Beautiful To Be Sexy Or Interesting.