I Live In A Van Down By

I Can Get A Great Look At A T-bone Steak By Shoving My Head Up A Bull's Ass But I'd Rather Take The Butchers Word For It.

I Used To Think That You Could Get To A Level Of Success Where The Laws Of The Universe Didn't Apply. But They Do. It's Still Life On Life's Terms, Not On Movie-star Terms. I Still Have To Work At Relationships. I Still Have To Work On My Weight And Some Of My Other Demons.

I Have What Doctors Call A Little Bit Of A Weight Problem.

I Have A Tendency Toward The Pleasures Of The Flesh. It's A Battle For Me, As Far As Weight And Things Like That. But I'm Curbing Them Because I Want To Continue To Do Comedy, And The Two Don't Mix. So I Try To Fight Those Demons.

I'm Just Dandy, I Got A Bowl Of Chocolate Pudding In My Underpants!