Jesus Loves You... He's Not 'in Love'

When People Come Over To My House For Dinner, I Always Have A Vegetarian Option. They Can Make Do, Or They Can **** Off!

Tv's Not The Same Buzz. If Someone Tells You Three Million People Watched The Show Last Week, That's Good But, When You Walk Out In Front Of 1,000, You Think, 'oh My God, This Had Better Be Good'.

Yes, I Have This Crazy Honk Of A Laugh.

A Surprising Amount Of My Jokes Sound Very Implausible But Are True.

When You Eat A Lot Of Spicy Food, You Can Lose Your Taste. When I Was In India Last Summer, I Was Listening To A Lot Of Michael Bolton.