I've Won Satan's Lottery.

Then Someone Started Pounding On The Door. And Not A Little "hey, What's Up?" Pound. Like There Was A Big Sale On Door Pounds Down At The Pound Outlet. Buy One, Get One Free At Pounds-n-stuff. --being The Journal Of Abby Normal

He Wanted Her To Experience All The Glorious Cheese Of Life.

I Wanted A Trumpet Concerto That Reflected Native American Music Because, Well, There Aren't Any. I Looked Around For One But Couldn't Find Anything. So It's A Wide-open Field.

Boredom Can Be A Lethal Thing On A Small Island.

This Story Is Not And Never Was Meant To Challenge Anyone's Faith; However, If One's Faith Can Be Shaken By Stories In A Humorous Novel, One May Have A Bit More Praying To Do.