I've Won Satan's Lottery.

In Business, As In Politics, The Public Is Ever So Tolerant Of Those Who Slime.

I'm Thinking Of Being A Professional Mourner. How Hard Can It Be? Tear At Your Hair, Sing A Dirge Or Two, Take The Rest Of The Week Off.

... But To Remain Historically Accurate, I Would Have Had To Leave Out An Important Question That I Felt Needed To Be Addressed, Which Is, 'what If Jesus Had Known Kung Fu?

Blessed Are The Meek, For To Them We Shall Say "attaboy".

Marry For Love, Stay Married, And Raise Happy Children Who Are Quick To Laugh And Slow To Judge.