I've Never Used One Word Of Profanity

Everybody Makes Mistakes, That's Why They Put Erasers On Pencils

Think About Each Pitch Like You Think About Women, Then Select One Which Is Particularly Appealing.

The Gym Teacher's Name Was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso Did Not Speak English. He Spoke 'gym.' One Day I Was Playing Basketball And Mr. Caruso Told Me I Would Have To Get An Athletic Supporter. He Didn't Express Himself Exactly That Way, Though. He Said, 'hey, You, One Day You're Gonna Go Up For A Rebound And The Family Jewels Aren't Gonna Go With Ya.' I Had No Idea What He Was Talking About. Next Day I Showed Up For Practice Without My Watch And My Mezuzah. He Said, 'did Ya Take Care Of The Family Jewels?' I Said, 'i Left 'em In My Locker.' Took Us A Half Hour To Revive Mr. Caruso.

Everything I Have, I Owe To Baseball And The Dodgers.

People Say You Can't Go Out And Eat With Your Players. I Say Why Not.