I've Met A Lot Of People Who've

You Would Never Do Stand-up Without An Audience. I Mean, No One Would Even Consider It. It's Like They're The Instrument You're Playing.

God Is Like A Shitty Girlfriend.

You Have To Be Aware Of Who You're Talking To In An Audience.

I've Met A Lot Of People Who've Lost Their Jobs And They Still Have A Sense Of Humor.

Friends Should Always Tell You The Truth. But Please Don’t.