I've Long Been Against Illegal Aliens, Partly

And If You Love Only Yourself, You Will Serve Only Yourself. And You Will Have Only Yourself.

If I Had Free Time To Go To Los Angeles To Shoot A Movie, I Would Rather Spend It With My Kids.

If I Had One Wish, It Would Be For Self-drying Pants. Wait -- No! Unlimited Wishes! How Do I Return These Stupid Pants?!

Cardinal Dolan, Of Course, Has A Very, Very Hard Job: Trying To Hold Up Catholic Family Values In Sexually Liberal New York City. I'm Not Saying New York Is The Gay Mecca. But It's At Least Gay-rusalem.

Made No Mistake: America Is A Christian Nation. The Bedrock Of Our Theo-democracy Is Our Judeo-christian Values. That Term, By The Way, Is A Bit Of A Misnomer. It Implies That Christianity And Judaism Are Equal.