I've Decided To Take Up Smoking, My

Working At The Magic Shop Really Gave Me A Sense Of Comedy Because It Was All Jokes.

You Know, A Lot Of People Come To Me And They Say, "steve, How Can You Be So Fucking Funny?" There's A Secret To It, It's No Big Deal. Before I Go Out, I Put A Slice Of Bologna In Each Of My Shoes. So When I'm On Stage, I Feel Funny.

...it Is Not The Big Events That Hurt The Most But Rather The Smallest Questionable Shift In Tone At The End Of A Spoken Word That Can Plow Most Deeply Into The Heart.

I Just Gave My Cat A Bath. Now How Do I Get All This Fur Off My Tounge?

I Am A Wild And Crazy Guy!