I Just Gave My Cat A Bath.

[her] Mind Blackens. The Blackness Is Not A Thought, But If It Could Be Pressed Into A Thought, If A Chemical From A Dropper Could Be Dripped Onto It Causing Its Color And Essence To Become Visible, It Would Take The Shape Of This Sentence: Why Does No One Want Me?

I Knew I Could Only Play Cyrano If He Were Americanized. I Had No Intention Of Writing The Script Myself. I Was Afraid Of It. You're Playing With Fire When You Tamper With A Classic. So I Went Looking For A Writer. But It Was Such A Personal Idea, And Anyone I Would Give It To Would Make It His Own. It's Hard To Ask Neil Simon To Write Your Idea.

I Knew I Wanted To Be In Comedy But The Path Of Least Resistance Was Doing Stand-up In Folk Music Clubs Where I Could Get On Stage. I Guess You Could Get Up No Matter How Bad You Were And You Didn't Have To Audition. You Just Got Up. Everything Else Required An Audition And If You Auditioned For A Tv Show, You Would Stand In Line With A Hundred Other People. But At The Clubs, It Was Okay Just To Get Up, So That's Why I Started In Stand-up.

Some People Have A Way With Words, And Other People...oh, Uh, Not Have Way.

How To Make A Million Dollars: First, Get A Million Dollars