I've Been In Therapy. I Know Enough

Whenever Something Good Happens To Me, It's Usually Followed By Something Terrible.

I Couldn't Be Happier That President Bush Has Stood Up For Having Served In The National Guard, Because I Can Finally Put An End To All Those Who Questioned My Motives For Enlisting In The Army Reserve At The Height Of The Vietnam War.

I Still Think Of That Guy I Was Without A Wife Or Kids, And I Still Want To Entertain That Guy. The Lonely Guy, The Frustrated Guy, The Guy With No Money - This Is The Guy Who Needs To Laugh.

Well, After The Divorce, I Went Home And Turned All The Lights On!

I'm A Walking, Talking Enigma. We're A Dying Breed.