I Am Not The Easiest Guy To

By The Time I Am Howard's Age I Hope To Be Long Retired. I Don't Plan On Working That Long.

Don't Do Drugs To Be Cool, Do 'em Because You Hate Yourself.

In Hollywood, There Is Another Name For A Woman's 40th Birthday Party, It's A Retirement Party.

A Weekend In Vegas Without Gambling And Drinking Is Just Like Being A Born-again Christian.

Richard Lewis Has This Incredible Ability To Look Like He's Just... You Know It's An Act That's Been Honed. What You Have To Do In Standup Is Create Spontaneity, Somehow; Even Though You've Done This Act A Million Times, You Gotta Look Like You're Almost Just Thinking Of It Now, To Make It Entertainer.