I Am Not The Easiest Guy To

I Quit Drinking, And I Figure If I Go To Ten Yankee Games This Year Without Drinking I'll Save $32,000.

You Know How Screwed Up Censorship Is, Two Girls Just Agreed To Make Out Naked In Front Of Their Fathers, And We Went Wait, Don't Curse.

In Hollywood, There Is Another Name For A Woman's 40th Birthday Party, It's A Retirement Party.

A-rod Wants To Be Like Babe Ruth. And People Don't Realize This, He's A Lot Like Babe Ruth. Before The Playoffs A Couple Of Years Ago, A-rod Went To The Hospital And Promised A Dying Kid He'd Ground Out To Second For Him.

I'm The Type Of Guy Where One Thing Leads To Another And Eventually It Gets Awful. If I Put A $5 Bet On A Roulette Table Tonight At 10 O'clock, By Tomorrow At Noon I Would Be Running Guns To Cuba.