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I Don't Want To Scare Anybody Here But We Just Received Word From Police That Howard Dean Is Loose And May Be Armed With A Microphone.

George W. Bush Even Stopped In Pennsylvania To Try His Hand At The Lotto And Gave Up When He Could Only Think Of The Numbers 4 And 17

There Was An Embarrassing Moment At A Recent Democratic Fundraiser. When John Kerry Was Handed A $10 Million Dollar Check, He Said, 'i Do.'

As John Kerry Sails Toward The Democratic Nomination, New Questions Are Emerging About President Bush's Service In The National Guard, Like Where He Was For Six Months In 1972 And Why He Refused To Take A Routine Physical. President Bush Has Vowed To Get To The Bottom Of This Right After Election Day.

I Pride Myself On Being Down-to-earth. I’m From The Midwest. People Who Go Into Show Business Are Screwed Up. I Romanticized About Having A Serene Life.