It's Hard To Think Of Yourself As

Some People Like To Keep Their Grass Cut Really Short, So They Can See The Intruders Coming. Keep Those Kill Zones Open. I Say Let The Grass Grow Tall So They Don't Know There's A House Behind It. Some Call It Lazy, I Say It's Thinking.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Had To Remove A Toothpick For Wedding Pictures.

You Might Be A Redneck If When You Run Out Of Gas, You Put Gin In The Gas Tank.

If Your Thighs Look Like The Hood Of A White Toyota Minivan After A Hailstorm, You Aren't Juicy.

The More Excited The Rooster Gets, The Higher His Voice Goes. He's Got A Little Bit Of A Barney Fife Quality To Him.