It's Hard To Think Of Yourself As

I've Been To All 50 States, And Traveled This Whole Country, And 90 Percent Of The People Are Good Folks. The Rest Of Them Take After The Other Side Of The Family.

Women In Bed Are Like Diesel Engines. What I Mean By That Is, It May Take Them A While To Get Going, But When You Do, They Can Go For A Long, Long Time. Whereas Men Are Like... Bottle Rockets.

You Might Be A Redneck If...the Most Serious Loss From The Earthquake Was Your Conway Twitty Record Collection.

If Your Thighs Look Like The Hood Of A White Toyota Minivan After A Hailstorm, You Aren't Juicy.

The Things That I'm Talking About Not Knowing, They're Not Mysteries Of The Universe; It's Just Stuff I Thought I Would Know By The Time I Was Thirty-nine.