It's Hard On An All-gay Softball Team

I Don't Mean To Be A Racist But If You're Going To Get Raped By A Japanese Guy, It's Not Going To Hurt At All.

I'm Actually Pretty Good At Tennis. Well, If I'm In The Special Olympics Or Something.

Having A Baby, It's Like A Five Year Commitment.

Whoever Calls And Asks Me To Do Stuff And Obviously, With Having Your Own Tv Show, People Want You To Get Involved. They Know You're A Stand-up Comedian So They're Always Looking For Somebody Funny To Host An Event.

If You Have To Work At Mcdonald's, Good For You. But On A Side Note, Good Luck With The Rest Of Your Life.