I Couldn't Run For Any Office. I

A New Biography Of Madonna Came Out Last Week, And Apparently The Biography Lists All The Men She's Slept With. The Book Is Apparently Called The Manhattan Telephone Directory.

Don't You Miss The Days When America Was Just Morally Bankrupt?

The Other Guys Are Selling Certainty. Not Me. I'm On The Corner With Doubt.

I Always Compare Marriage To Communism. They're Both Institutions That Don't Conform To Human Nature, So You're Going To End Up With Lying And Hypocrisy.

People Say To Me All The Time, "i Get My News From Your Show." And That Isn't The Way They Should Get Their News. But The Choice Is Not Between Getting Their News The Right Way And Getting Their News From My Show. The Choice Is That They Won't Get Any At All Unless You Give It To Them In An Entertaining Package.