It Wasn't That No One Asked Me

Some Women Hold Up Dresses That Are So Ugly And They Always Say The Same Thing: 'this Looks Much Better On.' On What? On Fire?

When A Woman Tries On Clothing From Her Closet That Feels Tight, She Will Assume She Has Gained Weight. When A Man Tries Something From His Closet That Feels Tight, He Will Assume The Clothing Has Shrunk.

Most Turkeys Taste Better The Day After; My Mother's Tasted Better The Day Before.

All Men Look Nerdy In Black Socks And Sandals.

I Get A Lot Of Return Business. I Think It's All Those Years I Put In Traveling Around The Country; People Saw Me Before And Had A Good Time So They Want To See Me Again.