It Probably Says Something Really Clinically Terrible

I Grew Up In A House Where There Was Lots Of Teasing And Language Play And Laughter; It Was Very Important. When I Was A Teenager, You Wouldn't Go To A Bar And Find Lots Of Televisions Everywhere. People Were Talking. Talk Was The Mental Fire You Would Gather Around In The Evening. It Occupied A Big Part Of Your Existence.

Don't You Dare Use Party As A Verb In My Shop

So Here Are Some Foolproof Recipes For Those Of You Who Understand The True Function Of Food. Bean Treat: Gingerly Pour Four Fluid Oz Of Beans Or Something Into A Jug. Cry. Eat The Beans From The Jug And Pour The Rest From The Can Down Your Throat. N.b. These Taste Better If They Belong To Somebody Else In Your House. Pain Au Dunk: Fists Of Bread, Rent From The Loaf And Dunked Into Anything Runnier Than Bread. Should Eat At Least Six Of These Because…you Should. Don’t Toast The Bread. Toast Is Cookery.

You're Never Going To Go. Why Would You Go? It's A Disgusting Place. It's Always Wet Even When It's Dry. There's Nothing There. Farmers Aren't Really People, You Know This. They're Just Necessary, We Need Somebody To Kill Cows.

If I Hadn't Done This I Might Have Ended Up Digging The Roads.