Inappropriate Behavior Makes Me Laugh.

I Hate When New Parents Ask Who The Baby Looks Like. It Was Born 15 Minutes Ago, It Looks Like A Potato

I Built A Jail In My Closet And I Would Incarcerate My Family From Time To Time.

I Always Just Forced Myself To Do Crazy Things In Public. In College I Would Push An Overhead Projector Across Campus With My Pants Just Low Enough To Show My Butt. Then My Friend Would Incite The Crowd To Be Like, 'look At That Idiot!' That's How I Got Over Being Shy.

I Just Fell Down The Stairs Holding A Guitar And Accidentally Wrote A One Direction Song

I Still Regret That I Never Played Soccer In High School. I Chose Basketball Over Soccer.