In The Year 3000, Everything Will Be

Let's Talk A Little About Love. Sometimes You Meet Somebody And You Have What Is Known As A Relationship And Things Can Go Great. If Things Go Great You Have A Great Relationship. Sometimes It Doesn't Go So Great And I Call That A Relationshit!

I Just Get Excited Doing Shows. Off Stage I Am Actually Very Feeble And Must Be Spoon-fed Because My Hands Are Too Brittle.

You Know You're Lazy When You Run Out Of Toilet Paper And Use The Cardboard Roll To Wipe With.

The Whole Thing With Comedy Is That You Are Always In Control. Writer, Director, Actor, Producer, And Sometimes Bouncer. And You Are Just A Piece Of Their Puzzle.

When A Guy Says "i Have No Idea What You're Talking About" It Means "i'm Thinking Of Exactly What You're Saying I Did While I Lie To You."