In The Past, I'll Admit, I've Enjoyed

I Am Actually Able To Do Other Things. I'm Not Just This Writer.

I Want Maggie Gyllenhaal. I Don't Know Why. I Don't Think She Necessarily Looks Like Me Or Acts Like Me, I Just Think She's A Cool Actress And She Could Play Me, So There You Go.

I Absolutely Relate To Being Alone In Squalor, Trying To Come Up With Something Adequate. I Relate To That, And I've Been Known To Crawl Out Of Bed And Drink Out Of A 2-liter Bottle Of Diet Coke.

Of Course, The Strippers Also Take Pains Not To Appear Too Innocent, Valorous, Or Bookishly Inclined. (in Direct Opposition To The Swayze Mandate Of 1987, Everybody Puts Baby In A Goddamn Corner.)

He Is The Cheese To My Macaroni.