To Enjoy Being Famous, You Need To

The One Thing I Have Found About Hollywood Is It's A Town Full Of People Who Believe In Themselves, Often To A Degree Where They're What You Would Call "delusional."

I Keep Joking That I'm In Jason Reitman Film School, Because I Keep Asking Him Questions Every Single Day About Directing And I Have A List Of Things That He's Told Me To Do And Not Do And I Definitely Couldn't Learn From A Better Person.

The Fashion Industry Isn't Merely Content To Encase My Meaty Flanks In Skintight Denim. Oh, No! That Denim Also Has To Be White, A Color That Attracts Ketchup, Wine, Garlic Aioli, And Any Other Foodstuffs I Might Otherwise Be Able To Enjoy If I Wasn't Wearing Ridiculously Tight Pants.

I Think Sometimes People Really Require The Satisfaction Of Closure.

Honestly, This Will Never Happen Because She's So Much Classier Than Me, But I Would Love To Work With Sofia Coppola.