In Modern America, Food Is Abundant Everywhere

...hell, Which As Every Frequent Traveler Knows, Is In Concourse D Of O'hare Airport.

Another Possible Source Of Guidance For Teenagers Is Television, But Television's Message Has Always Been That The Need For Truth, Wisdom And World Peace Pales By Comparison With The Need For A Toothpaste That Offers Whiter Teeth *and* Fresher Breath.

The Most Valuable Function Performed By The Federal Government Is Entertainment.

Life Is Anything That Dies When You Stomp On It.

Avoid The Traffic By Using One Of The Park's Shuttle Buses And View The Elk Rut With A Park Ranger.