In Hollywood, Oscar Is King.

Iraq's Elite Republican Guard Is Doing So Badly They're Changing Their Name To The Democratic Guard.

Mitt Romney Is Running For President Again. That Will Be Attempt No. 3. Well, Everybody Needs A Hobby. He's Almost Certainly Running, And I'm Almost Certainly Retiring, So I Don't Care.

Let Me Just Say This: You Know Your Campaign Is Not Going Well When You Open A Press Conference By Saying, 'i Told You There Would Be More Lewd Photos'.

And How About That Barack Obama? You Know What They're Saying? For The First Time He's Starting To Slip In The Polls. Barack Obama Is Starting To Slip In The Polls. Don't Worry. He's Got A Plan. He's Going To Be To Campaigning In Europe.

Due To Budget Crunches, Bush Has Had To Scale Some Of The Programs. He Has A New Program, 'leave A Couple Of Kids Behind.'