In America, Anyone Can Become President. That's

When You Look At Earth From That One Picture, The One From Space, It's Really A Rather Attractive Thing. I Have Nothing Against The Planet Per Se. I Root For The Big Comet Or Asteroid As A Way Of Cleansing The Planet. The Comet Or Asteroid 65 Million Years Ago Is Probably What Gave Us Our Opening To Replace The Reptiles. The Greatest Entertainment I Have In My Life Is Chronicling Internally, Not Necessarily For The Public, The Slow Dissolution Of Order.

I Went Straight From Shenanigans To Crimes Against Humanity.

I Think It Would Be Fair And Right To Use Some Of My Land And Wealth For A Drug-rehab Center Or An Indian School.

When I Was In Seventh Grade, I Was Caught Stealing Money From The Visiting Team's Locker Room During A Basketball Game. So I Was Sent To The Brothers. That's What They Called This Parochial School Up In Goshen, New York. I Was Supposed To Get Closer Supervision There And More "masculine Influence," Whatever That Means. But I Was Thrown Out For Telling A Couple Of Really Lame Kids On The Playground That I Had Heroin.

I Don't Get All Choked Up About Yellow Ribbons And American Flags. I See Them As Symbols, And I Leave Them To The Symbol-minded.