I'm Very Open To The Up-and-comers.

I've Been Told To Speed Up My Delivery When I Perform. But If I Lose The Stammer, I'm Just Another Slightly Amusing Accountant.

Don't Ever Have Two Dogs. That Way You Won't Know Which One To Blame.

I Don't Want To Find The Secret. I'm Afraid All The Joy Will Go Out Of It If I Find The Secret.

Television Series Are Like The Stock Market. There's Room For Bears And Bulls But No Room For Pigs.

There Are A Lot Of Questions I Keep Asking Myself About Why I Do Comedy. I Guess I Laugh To Keep From Crying. And I Guess If You Ever Get Me Crying, I Might Not Stop. This Is The Way I Look At Tragedy Or Else I'll Cry.