I'm So Excited About The New Ipad,

It Seemed That I Performed Better Sober Than Drunk. Who Knew?

I Aim To Please. I'm Nothing If Not A Vaudevillian.

Cannabis Always Made Me Paranoid; I Felt Like People Were Watching Me. And Now I'm Sober, And I've Got This Talk Show In The Middle Of The Night On Cbs, And I Now Know That No One Is Watching Me.

Lance Armstrong Admitted He Used Performance-enhancing Drugs Throughout His Career. He Confessed In Front Of The Most Respected Judge In The Land, Oprah Winfrey.

Tomorrow's Just Your Future Yesterday.