I'm Not The Kind Of Person Who

Turning Water To Wine? I Mean C'mon, That's Stupid. They Should Have Let Me Write The Bible.

Honestly, The Only Way Garden State Could Have Been Better Was If I Played Every Character. I'm Awesome.

Am I Really Gonna Deny Someone The Opportunity Of A Lifetime Just Because They Met Me 5 Easters Early?

I Was Excited About The Dark Knight Until Heath Ledger Gave Away The Ending, Batman Always Wins.

It's A Good Thing I'm A Professional And Could See The Pure Genius Talent Behind The Raw Sexual Beauty.