I'm Not The Kind Of Person Who

I'm Not Gay, But I'm Still The Kind Of Guy Where, Even Though You Have No Chance, They Still Want To Hang Around Me So You Can Get A Good Mental Image And Jerk Off To Me Later.

I Love Signing Autographs! Sometimes, When People Ask Me For One, I Keep The Photo For Myself And Frame It. It's A Win-win Situation Really; I Get An Extra 25 Dollars In My Pocket And Another Portrait For My Bedroom.

People Always Say The God Father Is The #1 Movie Of All Time. But Ask Yourself, Did You See Zach Braff In It....no You Didn't. So Then By Default It Goes To Garden State..and If Youwatch Two Episodes Of Scrubs Back To Back That Counts As The #2.

I've Had To Remove All Mirrors From My Home. I Just Can't Seem To Look At Myself Without Having To Buff The Bishop, You Know?

Don't Get Me Wrong, I Love The Idea Of Killing Unwanted Babies, It's Just That The Idea Of Letting Women Make A Decision Doesn't Sit Well With Me.